Have a Merry Stress Free Christmas

“ARE YOU ready for Christmas?”



That question resurfaces every December. When people raise it, they are really asking, “Do you have all your decorations up? Have you completed your holiday shopping? Is the baking done? Are all the cards addressed and stamped? Is the party list complete?” For too many people the holiday season is a time of overextending, overspending, overeating, overcrowding and, in the end, they are left feeling overwhelmed. That may be why British author George Bernard Shaw harshly observed that Christmas “is forced upon a reluctant and disgusted nation by the shopkeepers and the press; on its own merits it would wither and shrivel in the fiery breath of universal hatred.”



Yet celebrating the birth of Christ doesn’t have to be that way. With some thought and planning it’s possible to reclaim the joy, wonder, and peace traditionally associated with December. And when that’s done, the holiday can be a time which nourishes and reconnects us to our best selves. Here are some ways to have a happy stress free holiday.





The reason for the season



The reason for the season is the birth of Jesus the Christ: remember this. He taught, “Love one another as I have loved you.” (John 13:34) Of his birth, the angels declared, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men.” (Luke 2:14) Clearly, the season is a time to promote peace, love and goodwill. As you go through the month try to keep remembering this reason for the season. Bring to mind these words from mystic Julian of Norwich: “Peace and love are always alive in us, but we are not always alive to peace and love.” Then do your part in creating vibrations of peace, love and goodwill wherever you are.



Prune your life





That’s the recommendation of Joel Osteen, author and parish priest of the Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas. “Prune your life. Don’t overcrowd or overschedule yourself. Your first priority is to keep yourself happy and healthy, and that means you can’t accommodate every single friend or relative. Step back and say, ‘I would love to go to her party or have them over, but I’m going to end up stressed out and irritable.’ Even if it’s difficult you have to learn to be upfront and say no. While it’s nice to please others, at the end of the day you’ll pay the price.”





Family members





Accept family members the way they are. A great deal of holiday stress results from relatives who are more naughty than nice. Here’s the reality you ought to work with: you can’t change family members. You can only change the way you respond to them. When a family member is behaving poorly and even badly, try to understand why they’re acting that way. If a brother-in-law is too opinionated, possibly he’s insecure, uncomfortable in your family, and it’s his way of covering that up. If an aunt dominates every conversation talking about herself, perhaps she’s lonely and craving attention. Try to simply accept who they are, where they are, and what they can give. Adopting that attitude will help you be open, accepting and forgiving.





Get physical





Even though you may be more busy than usual during December, don’t slack off from exercise. Remember your body needs physical activity to counter the stress of the season as well as offset the increase in calories which come with seasonal foods and festivities. Here’s an inspiring example from a Chicago woman: “I go to more parties and events in December than I do during the rest of the year. So, before I go to a party, I always make sure to work out the hour before. I’ll either go to my gym or take an hour-long walk. That way, when I get to the party, I don’t feel guilty about eating a few of the various treats.”





Give more… to charities





One large extended family of 35 opted to donate to charity rather than give each other gifts. “Many times the gifts given and received were semi-successful – things we didn’t need or particularly want. We felt the energy required to make those purchases could be put to better use by helping people who could really needed it.” The family compiled a list of favoured charities which, of course, included St Anthony’s Charities.





Buy less





Perhaps the most discouraging and frustrating aspect about Christmas is the blatant commercialism and materialism which permeates the season. Ask yourself if it’s really necessary to give a present to everyone on your list. Sometimes we conclude it’s necessary to give a gift to everyone from our employer to our neighbours, to our child’s teacher(s) to work colleagues. Make this decisive decision: I will limit spending for gifts. Establish a smaller budget and then be both careful and creative with your gift giving. One man proudly recalls, “As a manager over nearly a dozen people, I liked to remember the staff with a Christmas gift which came out of my own finances, not a company expense account. As our staff increased, my expenses for the gifts were also increasing. Last year I decided on a different approach. I’d been collecting distinctive coffee mugs across the years, and had more than I was ever using. I took those mugs, filled them with gourmet chocolates and had them finely gift wrapped. They were a huge hit with many staff members using the mugs at work all year round. The gifts cost me less and had a more personal aspect to them.”





Tap into the spiritual



Take advantage of spiritual opportunities such as:



·           Attend the many worship services offered in December.



·           Make time for daily prayer and meditation – even five minutes can reduce stress levels.



·           Become more aware that God is working behind the scenes in your life.



·           Cultivate an attitude of peace, compassion, forgiveness.



·           Read an inspirational book for December.



·           Participate in a spiritual small group – Bible study, ensemble, social service.





Enlist help





If you’re a perfectionist thinking that a task can’t be done properly unless you do it, then lighten up and step back. Will it really matter if the bow seems a little sideways or the name tag is smeared. Delegate some of the responsibility. Get as many assistants as possible including children. Renata Breggstone of Chicago tells of planning a “big Christmas party at my parents’ home in Boston. “Believe it or not, I used an Excel spreadsheet to divide up duties. Each sheet detailed exactly what each person had to do and all the contact, budget and any other information they needed. It worked great, and the party was a hit.”





Compile a gratitude list





Just as you would put together an address list of people who will receive a holiday card from you, compile a second list of people to whom you are grateful. This is an exercise which is transformative. Think about those who have touched you, helped you, nurtured you over the last twelve months. On your holiday card, make a point of acknowledging how each one of those individuals made a unique contribution to your life. Compile your gratitude list thinking about a mentor, teacher, coach, spouse, relative, neighbour who helped you in any way. What you may perceive as a small expression of appreciation will be received as encouragement in a big way. Your words of gratitude will linger in their memory for many holiday seasons.





Savour the moments





Enjoy the season moment by moment. Sadly, many people end up missing the holiday each year, not because they weren’t present for it, but because they’re so busy. They get so caught up in all of the planning and preparation, the hustle and hurry, that when it’s over, they have an uneasy feeling that somehow they missed it. Avoid that by appreciating many opportunities December offers for enjoyment. Be mindful. Be aware. Be sensitive. Enjoy everything from freshly fallen snow to holiday mall music, to festivities in the community to the aroma of freshly baked treats. The season is packed full of sensory pleasures. One woman says, “Unlike many who feel the holiday seasons end so quickly, I don’t have that issue because I savour the moments. When I’m baking cookies, I enjoy the sensation of the dough in my hands. As I stroll through the mall, I’ll pause in places to either sit or stand and listen to the holiday music. As store clerks are checking out my purchases, I make eye contact, smile and have a conversation with them, always thanking them for their assistance. When our family opens gifts, we open them one gift at a time and one person at a time so we all delight in the opening and viewing of the wrapped packages.”



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Finally, let this approach from author Oren Arnold guide your spirit of giving during the holiday: “To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.” When these are done, the holidays become rich with joy and meaning.