This time, however, besides visiting their dear Saint, they took time to see me as well, as editor of the Messenger of Saint Anthony, to thank me for, “the wonderful magazine which brings us so much information, inspiration and hope every month”. They then revealed to me how hard it was to bring up a disabled child.
This month, I feel duty bound to thank this brave American couple and, along with them, the thousands of parents throughout the world who struggle every day to bring up children with disabilities in a world that has little or no sympathy for them.
In this editorial I would like state loudly and clearly that they belong to the category of unsung heroes. Firstly, because they had the courage to accept a disabled child when most couples prefer to suppress them while still in the womb at the first suspect that the foetus may be malformed.
Secondly, couples such as these are especially worthy of being praised for fulfilling their tasks as parents with great love and self-sacrifice in a social context which either abandons them or simulates false compassion for their children, not to mention the shallowness of the general mentality which marginalises the disabled in favour of those possessing outer, physical beauty. But this is only to be expected when the laws of our so-called ‘advanced’ nations, with a certain dose of hypocrisy, allow abortion for any real or suspected malformation.
The magic word which inspires every thought and action of these extraordinary parents is one only: love. You can read it in their eyes as they hug their children, which they regard as the most precious gift in their lives. This is hardly surprising, because it is precisely these children that are teaching them what it means to love. Without this great love, desperation and darkness would reign supreme in their lives.
Of course, faith is of great help in these trials, and this American couple has faith in abundance. “Our cross,” they told me, “is certainly no easy burden, but with the Lord’s and Saint Anthony’s help we have learned to bear it. In fact we are sometimes even happy to bear it”.
They revealed to me, however, that there are moments when desperation assails them, particularly when thinking about their child’s fate when they are gone.
To be tested, dear readers, is a recurrent expression in the Bible. When God wants to prove whether we really believe in Him, he tests us and spares us no trials and sufferings. Job’s dilemma remains as valid as ever: Why does God allow this?
This problem, however, was answered by Jesus through his supreme sacrifice of love on the Cross, which showed us that we must love to the end so that others may have life.
Two years ago in New York, during a meeting with young people having disabilities, the Holy Father said, “Sometimes it is challenging to find a reason for what appears only as a difficulty to be overcome or even pain to be endured. Yet our faith helps us to break open the horizon beyond our own selves in order to see life as God does. God’s unconditional love, which bathes every human individual, points to a meaning and purpose for all human life. Through his Cross, Jesus in fact draws us into His saving love and in so doing shows us the way ahead – the way of hope which transfigures us all, so that we too, become bearers of that hope and charity for others.”
Even though not all of us have the opportunity of helping these parents on the practical level, we can at least offer them a prayer of support. We hope that the following words will inspire you:
God of compassion,
in Jesus Christ you cared
for those who were blind or deaf,
crippled or slow to learn.
Though all of us need help,
give special care to those
who are disabled and their families.
By our concern may they know
the love you have for them,
and come to trust you;
through Jesus Christ
who came to heal.