Reclaiming Christmas

ON CHRISTMAS EVE, the store in Cleburne, Texas, was jammed. The energy was frantic as dozens of people waited in long lines at checkout counters to make final purchases.

One of the cashiers that evening was Jeffrey Kandt, who was methodically and courteously checking out his customers. As soon as his shift was over, he planned on driving to his church for the annual Christmas eve service. A woman standing in his line put her purchase on the counter. Obviously, she was a person living on the edge of subsistence. Her clothes were neat but worn, and her hands revealed a person who had worked very hard for the little she had. Her purchase that night was a single item which she held tightly in her arms as she waited patiently for her move to the cashier. That woman’s son wanted only one gift for Christmas, a Sony PlayStation 2. It took her all year to save the money from her meagre income. With tax, she calculated she would need $220.

Unusual episode

As Kandt scanned the game-player’s bar code into his register, the woman panicked. The money she so carefully saved was not where she remembered putting it. Frantically searching, first her purse, then her pockets, she realized the money was gone. As she began to weep quietly, her predicament and frustration became apparent to the other customers in the line behind her.

Watching the woman search through her clothing, Kandt realized he would have to call for a manager to void the sale, shut down his checkout line and wait for the manager to come from another part of the crowded store. He was certain tempers would flare and that he would be late for church that evening.

Then, an amazing and memorable happening took place. At the back of the line, a man took out his wallet, pulled out $100 and passed it forward. As the cash moved from hand to hand up the line, other customers added to the amount. A twenty-dollar bill from one person, a ten-dollar bill from another. Someone tossed in a fist-full of ones which were dug from the bottom of a jeans pocket. By the time the spontaneous collection reached the register, Kandt counted out $220. Complete strangers had banded together and fulfilled a poor mother’s Christmas wish to giver her son his dream gift. Jeffery Kandt made it in time for his church service which would surely be one of his most memorable. And, that Christmas eve, the people in his line at the Cleburne, Texas, store were unified as they promoted the true spirit of Christmas.

Hijacked feast

Unlike the people in that store, an increasing number of individuals experience, not the joy and promise of Christmas, but the stress and strain of a frantic time of year. For many, the holiday, which should be a festive and joyous time, quickly erodes into frustration and disappointment. One woman laments, “There is simply too much baking to do; too many cards to address; too much shopping to complete; far too many gifts to wrap and deliver. I am strangling because of expectations and traditions. I know I’m not alone feeling that something has gone terribly wrong with this holiday!”

Of course, the antidote to a season characterized by frantic activity and overcrowded scheduling lies in recapturing the reason for the season. The incident at the Texas Wal-Mart is an inspiring reminder that December is more about giving and less about receiving, exactly what Jesus taught when he said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (Acts 20:35) It is less about ‘putting on Christmas’ and more about filling the world with kindness, compassion and love, as the apostle Paul taught, “Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” (Colossians 3:12) Here are some ways of putting the reason back into the season.

Set spiritual goals

One family established a spiritual goal of making a difference in their community. So the father, mother and their three children volunteered to serve meals every Thursday evening at a nearby facility helping those with drug and alcohol issues. “Our act certainly didn’t change the world or even our community, but it helped to put balance into our Christmas by taking some of the emphasis off just shopping and the giving and receiving gifts.” And, remember, whatever spiritual goals you set for the season, pray asking God to guide and lead you so that your goals are achieved.

Be open to the spirit

The holidays are an ideal time of year to expand the boundaries of the spirit. One way of achieving that is to train yourself to spot spiritual examples and lessons which come our way daily, but which we often miss because we are not paying attention. Sue Freshour, of Crystal Lake, Minnesota, tells of walking a lake road with her sister, Marjorie, when the sister saw something sticking out of the sand. She stopped for a better look and, to her amazement, saw it was a crumpled $20 bill. “A bit jealous, I silently wondered what she would do with the money,” Freshour recalls thinking. Then, a few yards away, Sue Freshour also found a $20 bill. What a lucky day, she thought. The sisters continued their walk marvelling at their good fortune. When Freshour got home she couldn’t stop thinking about how she was going to spend the twenty dollars. “I’ll spend it on something absolutely impractical,” she vowed to herself as she carefully tucked the money in a safe place. At church the following Sunday, Freshour says she was “forever humbled.” When the collection plate was making its rounds, she saw her sister take out the crumpled $20 bill and drop it in. With considerable sensitivity and insight, Freshour gleaned an important spiritual lesson about generosity. “That day I discovered the true difference between me and my sister,” she says.

Extend your giving

Spread yourself a little thinner by giving beyond your familiar and comfortable circle of family and friends. Call your local food panty or shelter to find out what they are especially in need of. One woman called a children’s shelter in her community and discovered their building had been burglarized recently. Their DVD player was stolen. The woman offered to get them another one and contacted a couple of friends, all of whom agreed to split the cost of a new one. Then, the woman invited guests to a “special holiday party,” asking them to bring new and used movies appropriate for children and young teens. The end result was that she replaced what had been stolen and more by adding a video library for the shelter.

Pass along a kindness

Heighten your holiday by passing along a kindness which you previously received and greatly appreciated. A remarkable story illustrating the power such an act can have comes from the Kansas City area. For more than 20 years, Christmas has been much merrier for some struggling people there due to a secret Santa who passes out $100 bills each holiday season. “I give folks some holiday magic to believe in,” says the mysterious benefactor in a red shirt who gave away $40,000 one season. “I’ve been at rock bottom myself,” he says. “It was 1971, and I was an out-of-work salesman living in my car in Houston, Mississippi. I’ll never forget the diner owner who gave me $20 for breakfast and a tank of gas to drive out of town.”

Eight years later, the man’s fortunes changed for the better and he decided to pass on the kindness he had received earlier. Just before Christmas he gave a waitress a $50 tip. Her eyes filled with tears as she thanked him, saying he had no idea how much his gift meant. The man continued passing on the kindness that year, giving away $400 even though he only had $600 in his bank account at the time. The man has continued that pattern every Christmas since, and has recently returned to Mississippi to surprise the man who started it all. The owner of the diner was now retired, and his wife was not well. “At the time, his $20 seemed like $10,000 to me,” the secret Santa says. “So that’s exactly how much I paid him back!”

A final suggestion for putting the reason back into the season lies in making this promise to yourself: I will not be content to indulge myself or others simply for our own pleasures. I will, however, commit to continue looking for ways to make a difference in the lives of people who are struggling. That is the path which leads to a holiday season characterized by joy, wonder, sweetness, calmness, ease, equanimity, and hope.

A TIME OF EXPECTATION

Advent, which literally means ‘arrival’, begins on the fourth Sunday before Christmas Day. The Advent wreath, with its four candles, symbolizes the end of darkness and the turning toward light in the coming of the Lord. It is a season of mixed themes – of both penance and joy…

During these days we’re making and buying gifts, baking good things, anticipating seeing friends and family, enjoying parties. Let’s also slow down and enjoy this time of the year. Talk with your children about getting ready for the Christ Child in our homes and in our hearts, because Advent should be mainly about waiting, about preparation, about quiet and mystery.

THE SEASON OF CHRISTMAS

The season of Christmas begins at midnight on Christmas day, and lasts until January 5 – the 12th day of Christmas. January 6 is Epiphany, observed in church on the following Sunday.

Christmas is a celebration of God incarnate now accessible among us. Epiphany is the visit of the Three Wise Men and of Jesus’ baptism.

One way to counter the letdown of the day after Christmas is to continue the celebration in small ways throughout the 12 days. Leave the Christmas decorations up and the Nativity scene (the crèche) in place. Read Christmas stories and volunteer your free time for a good cause. Use these days to bring gifts to your neighbours and friends, rather than rushing to get everything done before December 25.

Help your Three Wise Men make their journey around the house to arrive at the manger on Epiphany.