The Pain of Racism

DEAR FRIAR RICK: I need prayers for myself, my wife and my in-laws, for more happiness, peace, love and success. My wife’s grandmother is disturbing us a lot just because I am black. She calls me different names, but I am not so much as angry as wondering why a Catholic and communicant like her should act that way. If she can discriminate against a fellow Catholic and a mass servant here in Poland, I wonder what she will do to other blacks she doesn’t know. Please friar, we need prayers, because the whole family is tired of her. I married a Polish lady.



I am sorry that you have to endure such racial discrimination in your life, especially from within your own family. In this day and age, it is truly surprising that you would experience such overt racism. It is also shocking that she would call you names. You say you are not too angry. I wonder why. Should you not be angry? Are you giving her some latitude because she may be older? Is it any excuse?



It seems that where it becomes especially difficult to you is when you consider that this woman is a fellow Catholic. You should expect more from her. I am sure you know quite well that the Church unequivocally condemns such racist attitudes and behaviours as sinful. It is a grave sin because it denies one of the most core beliefs of the Judeo-Christian tradition: that we are all made in the image and likeness of God. To reject someone because of their skin colour is to reject an aspect of God.



Does that mean that there is no racism in the Church? Of course there is, but sometimes though it is quite subtle. I have met Church officials at the highest levels who would shudder at the thought of racism against a person of colour, but who are quite comfortable making broad and racist generalizations about certain ethnic communities or cultures. Sometimes these racist attitudes can be rather benign in appearance. To portray in our thought or speech the notion that all Asians are hardworking or that Africans are such ‘family people’ is equally racist. First of all it lumps all Asians or Africans in one stereotype while, in fact, Asia and Africa are huge continents. A Nigerian is not an Egyptian. A Korean is not a Japanese. God forbid you should confuse Australians and New Zealanders, Americans and Canadians or even Poles with Romanians!



Racist attitudes and stereotypes come from ignorance and fear. That which we do not know and understand we look at with suspicion. This is understandable to a certain degree. Growing up in Montreal in the 1960s there were not a lot of people of colour. We had in our community some people from India and Pakistan who were the object of much discrimination… even in Canada! In school, kids had some derogatory names for people from Pakistan. What was this attitude based on? Ignorance. Many of us really didn’t know people from this community, and we had all sort of prejudices about them… their food, culture and way of living.



A big change came in my life when, as a young student-friar, I went to study in Washington, DC, which is primarily a black or, as they say in the US, an ‘African-American’, community. I remember noticing one morning as I boarded the metro that I was the only Caucasian I could see anywhere around! It was weird to be the minority. As I looked around in the train I saw the broad spectrum of people that I would see on any bus or metro back home. Around me there were polished executives, and also men and women with really fancy clothes, expensive watches and a busy attitude. There were also really ordinary folks going off to work along with plenty of students like me. Finally, there were a few strange looking dudes who looked a little shifty. I, and the others on the train, kept a suspicious eye on those guys. It was then that I realized that one’s colour or culture does not necessarily mean that we are any ‘type’ of person. All types exist in all cultures, because ultimately our race is the human race!



So we are all together in this human race or family. And you mention that your whole family is tired of grand-mother’s behaviour. It might be an idea to enlist the help of your family to say to her that what she is doing must stop. Be gentle, but firm.