Man’s Best Friend

DEAR FRIAR RICK:I am an elderly lady who, fortunately, is still healthy enough to live in her own home. I never married and have no children, but I do have nephews and nieces who, however, never really call on me. This means that I spend most of my time alone by myself. You may think it absurd, but my only real companion is Brandy, my faithful dog.



The only thing these wonderful creatures lack is the capacity to talk, and I am sure they are much better than some human beings. I have therefore decided that, after my death, I will leave my meagre inheritance to an association that cares for abandoned dogs. Am I doing the right thing?





Ultimately, it’s your money and you can do with it as you please. You don’t owe anyone anything. I find it rather sad when seniors suffer tremendous hardship or make poor financial choices just so that they can leave something behind for their children. Others will say that they don’t want to be a burden to their children. No elderly person should be seen as a burden, no matter what the circumstances. In our society today, one of the great losses is a sense of community and responsibility for one another. In any case, let’s get back to your question.



First of all, it is such a blessing to be able to live in one’s own home. You mention that you never married and have no children. So I may presume that you have become accustomed to living alone and having your independence. Your dog Brandy seems to be a great companion to you and a source of comfort. God has blessed us with the company of these friends. They, like all of creation, remind us of how good God is, and His love for us.



I used to have a dog. Her name was Lady. She was a big German Shepherd, and yet so gentle. Sometimes, I also wished she could talk. But you know, she probably wouldn’t have much more to say than what she already was certainly able to communicate without words… things like: “Feed me” or “I NEED to go out… and do my business!” or “Let’s play” and then “Feed me” again! Although dogs are faithful and loving in their own way, I must respectfully disagree with you and say that no dog is better than a human being.



Humans are made in the image and likeness of God. The love of a dog, or of any animal is quite wonderful, but it is only a pale reflection of the love a human being can offer, which in turn is a reflection of God’s love for us.



You mention that you have nieces and nephews, but that they rarely come to visit. I wonder why that is? Are they too busy? Do they live far away? I guess there’s always a reason why we don’t make time for one another. You know, relationships with our family members are like any other relationship; they must be nurtured. There’s a natural give and take. I wonder if you have had a chance to reach out to them yourself? Do you call them? If you do, what do you talk about? Do you ask them about their lives? Do you listen?



Sometimes when we are older and perhaps a little frail, we can sometimes focus on ourselves and our problems, and all we talk about are our pains and aches and our doctors’ visits. And certainly, that’s fair enough because that’s what we are going through. But, sometimes, if that is all we talk about or are only focused on ourselves we become less inviting of guests. Now, I am not saying this about you. I don’t have any idea what you are like, but just in case this might apply, think about it.



In an age where families are often broken apart or separated by distance it is such a blessing to have an older aunt or uncle or friend to visit. You have much to offer your nieces and nephews. If you are willing to listen without judging, to share your love and experience, that would be such a blessing to them. But you know, you don’t have to wait for them to make the first step. Give them a call and ask them about them. Invite them for coffee. Perhaps they can even help you take Brandy for a walk!