Let Your Light Shine

TEN YEARS ago, 24-year-old Janene Mascarella was sitting alone on a Florida beach quietly weeping “when a stunning woman wearing an oversize red had and expensive sunglasses walked over and placed at book at the edge of my towel,” she vividly recalls. The kind stranger said nothing, just smiled and returned to her blanket. Mascarella was embarrassed that someone noticed her tears, and didn’t know how to respond. So, she picked up the book and saw that it was a self-help book. She had never read a self-help book before, but feeling some obligation to the stranger, she began to read it. Within an hour a deep sense of peace settled within. “The easy, breeze, non-preachy tone spoke to my fears, lagging self-worth, hopeless wandering and big-time boyfriend problems,” she says. As Mascarella continued to read on the beach, she realized her benefactor didn’t just hand her a book, it was a compass guiding her life. Halfway through the book, Mascarella looked around for the woman, but she had left the beach. Reading through the book empowered Mascarella and she says “I found my way just fine”.

Five years later, while sitting on a curb about to buckle her rollerblades, Mascarella head a couple arguing loudly in the car parked next to hers. She could overhear their issue: he wanted to end the relationship, but she was pleading for them to continue. Finally, she got out of the car, “her eyes swollen with tears as the guy sped off”. The woman walked toward a swing set and made a call on her cell phone. Mascarella rummaged through her trunk and found the worn copy of the book the stranger on the beach had previously given her. “I walked over in my stocking feet and handed her the book, as it had been handed to me. As I rollerbladed up the path, she opened the book”.

That mysterious stranger on a Florida beach knew something which everyone should understand: each one of us has the ability to strengthen life. Her action is an inspiring example of how one person can extend her influence. What transpired on that beach is worth looking at more closely because it reveals two important life lessons. First, one doesn’t have to be a ‘person of influence’ to be influential. Secondly, even a small act – the giving of a used book – can produce magnificent results. That stranger’s action raised awareness, generated hope, energized will, and motivated Marcella’s sagging spirit. Influence extension is something anyone can engage in. Jesus spoke about the importance of expanding our influence: “You are the light of the world… let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds.” (Matthew 5:14,16) Likewise, the apostle Paul exhorted Christians to be influential, saying, “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others”. (Philippians 2:4) Consider some of these highly effective ways to extend and expand your influence.

Write kind messages
 

At times, life can unleash a torrent of pain. People can find themselves struggling against a variety of issues: the death of a loved one; a separation or divorce; the prospect of facing prison time; a life threatening illness; lengthy unemployment. Such events leave people reeling and feeling isolated, lonely, vulnerable, even ashamed. Extend your influence via a carefully crafted letter of kindness and compassion. Your words will be tremendously encouraging, and will become permanently etched in the recipient’s mind and spirit. An example of such a letter comes from a woman writing to her son-in-law who was being divorced from her daughter. “Dear Dale, this is just a note to tell you how sorry we are to know of your and Betsy’s unhappiness and separation. Of course, we have been aware things were not going well for a year or so, but we hoped things would work out better over time. We are not taking sides in this matter, nor are we making judgments. We feel that only you and she can make decisions about such personal things as marriage, happiness and contentment. We have the highest regard for you and have loved having you as a member of the family. Whatever your final decision may be, we hope and pray that it will be for the very best good and happiness for each of you.”

Offer to pray

Prayer offsets fear and illuminates the dark places of life. Physician and author Rachel Naomi Remen tells of a memorable moment which took place as she was lying on an operating table waiting for anaesthesia to prepare her for surgery. One of her surgeons took her hand and asked if she would join him and his operating team in a prayer. Though initially startled by this unusual request from a surgeon, she enthusiastically nodded her head. The doctor gathered the team around the operating table. After a moment of silence, he offered this simple prayer: “May we be helped to do here whatever is right.”

Stand up for someone

“Stands must be taken,” says author Hugh Prather. “If I am to respect myself I have to search myself for what I believe is right and take a stand on what I find. Otherwise, I have not gathered together what I have been given; I have not embraced what I have learned; I lack my own conviction.” Similarly, Marian Wright Edelman, founder of the Children’s Defense Fund reminds, “We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make, which, over time, add up to big differences we cannot foresee”.

Filmmaker Wes Craven remembers, with gratitude, a woman who stood up for him and saved him from getting robbed. Shortly after he arrived in New York City with a wife, two children and no work prospects, he took a job driving cab. His boss, a white man, told him he should never pick up anyone going north of 86th Street – shorthand for blacks trying to get home to Harlem. “Of course, I didn’t follow that rule,” he says. One day, he picked up a young black mother with a child in a stroller. When he dropped her off at 125th Street, he heard her shout, “Don’t you do that – this man picked me up!” Craven turned and saw a man leaning into his cab window, reaching for his box of cash. The woman then quickly jerked her baby and buggy out of the cab and shouted to Craven: “Go!” He took off, careened around the corner onto Madison Avenue as the would-be thief fell from the cab and ran for his life. “That woman taught me that brave people will cross any colour line to defend what’s right,” he says.

Make others feel special
 

When we make people feel good about themselves, they feel good about us as well. Be both consistent and creative in making others feel special. In their book, Yes, You Can, authors Sam Deep and Lyle Sussman, offer several ways of making other feel special. Their suggestions include: 

         Listen. One of the highest compliments you can pay people is to show interest in their ideas and beliefs.

         Apologize when someone feels hurt by something you’ve done. Admit to your errors and accept responsibility for    your role.

         Show greater concern for people and their lives. Remember things about them – birthdays, anniversaries, and personal interests. Respond with empathy to their fears, concerns, and traumas.

         Thank people who help you and praise them when they do a good job. Be generous with compliments.

         Ask for things in a respectful way. “May I” and “Please” need to find permanent homes in your speech.

          Call people by name – the one acknowledgement unique to them. Use people’s names whenever you greet them and say good-bye to them.        

Instil a vision

“A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral,” noted author Saint-Exupery.

Be the one who helps another person see the cathedral in a rock pile. At age 48, Clarence Otis Jr. was named CEO of Darden Restaurants, one of the largest casual dining corporation in the world. In his position, he oversees huge chains such as Olive Garden and Red Lobster. He’s one of only a handful of African-American CEOs running a Fortune 500 company. His is a remarkable achievement given the fact he grew up in the Watts section of Los Angeles, one of the poorest sections of any American city. A large aspect of his success can be credited to his father, a janitor. Otis vividly remembers the Sunday drives his family took through Beverly Hills when he was a boy. Each began and ended in Watts. The father took his family to Beverly Hills not to gawk in envy, rather to show his children another world was out there and, more importantly, to let them know it was not out of their reach. “Those drives showed me how the other half lived,” recalls Clarence Otis, Jr. “They made me believe another life was possible.”

Today, look around and identify someone who is in need of a greater vision. Be the one who helps that individual develop a dream of who they can become and goals they can aspire toward and, ultimately, achieve!