Finding Hope

style=width:203px;height:300px;float:right;" >A MAN WHO suffered a very troubled youth and whose guidance counsellor labelled him “most likely not to succeed,” founded a highly successful brokerage firm. He was living a fast-paced, luxurious life when it came to an abrupt halt. At age 31 he was convicted of fraud and spent three years in a federal prison. While in prison he vowed to turn his life around. There he read over 600 books to stimulate his mind and energize his will. Upon release, he lost 60 pounds, stopped smoking, and quit gambling. He has become an author, speaker, life coach and president of a small corporation devoted to helping others.

That man is Eric Aronson. In his book Dash, Mr Aronson tells of being in prison and feeling quite hopeless. He wondered how he could survive the “ordeal of being away from everyone and everything I loved.” What he found tremendously helpful was this affirmation which he used to boost his spirits and keep hope alive.

Things may not seem to be working out for me right now, but I know that I will make the best of the situation. I know that I will do everything that I can, one day at a time. I will get through this as a winner. I will not worry, but rather look at what I am going through as a challenge: a time to develop patience and self-confidence and realize that I can change my attitude even if I can’t change my circumstances. I am a survivor! I am going to handle this. I am going to find strength I didn’t know I had. Soon enough, I will be on the other side, and I will look back on this time and draw strength and courage from the fact that even though the road was rock, I made it through and carried on.

Being sent to prison has to be one of the most despairing events in a person’s life. Yet, Eric Aronson’s example demonstrates the reality that hope – the tendency to focus on the best possibilities – can be cultivated even in the midst of life’s most challenging conditions. No matter what happens to us, feelings of despair and defeat can be minimized and offset by the power of hope. Tapping into hope is a critical life skill because hope has the power to pull us through a dark, demanding time. In the extreme, hope can mean the difference between life and death. The Bible says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” (Proverbs 13:12) Hope is a learnable practice. Here are some words which support hope.

Faith

Tap into your faith. Deepen your awareness of and attunement to God’s presence in daily experience. During a dark night of your soul, place your ultimate trust that God will safely see you through. When facing illness or any other challenge in your life, believe that a Greater Power watches and waits with you. Use Scripture as your faith builder during a difficult time. Some passages from the Bible which build hope and confidence include: 2 Corinthians 4:8-9: We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. Jeremiah 31:13: I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow. 1 Peter 5:10: The God of all grace…will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.

Tense

Live in the present tense, not the past tense nor the future tense. Another way of saying this is: live in the moment. That is the wisdom inherent in the psalmist’s exhortation, “This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24) Jesus brought the same emphasis saying, “Do not worry about tomorrow.” (Matthew 6:34) Learn from the past, but don’t limit hope by constantly reliving unhappy yesterdays or fearing the future. One man, tormented by betrayal from a business partner finally came to the place where he repeatedly reminded himself, “I have to give up all hope for a better yesterday!”     

Vision

When hope is fading, it’s easy to think negatively. Dispute your thoughts during adversity. Work to keep the bleak aspects of your life in perspective. Reject negative assumptions. The Bible reminds us we become what we think, “For as he thinks within himself, so he is.” (Proverbs 23:7) Seek ways to enlarge your vision of you life and circumstances. Rather than say to yourself, “My world is falling apart,” try saying and thinking, “This is a very difficult time for me, but I will take on the challenge and see it through.” Rather than think, “This is hopeless,” focus on options which can help you shape, manage and downsize the issue. One way of doing this is to ask yourself, “What information do I need to better understand or deal with this?”, “What experts can guide me through this difficulty?”, “Who among my family and friends can be a trusted, supportive friend at this time?”, “What steps do I need to take in order to strengthen myself for this challenge?” 

By enlarging your vision of the possibilities, you will discover fresh insights and greater options. The vision which emerges is the one which will pull you forward. “A very good vision is needed for life, and the man who has it must follow it – as the eagle seeks the deepest blue of the sky,” said Sioux Chief Crazy Horse.

Persistence

This is the determination to keep moving forward no matter what happens. This quality was fundamental in the career of Jack Welch, the highly regarded CEO of General Electric. Now retired, Welch was asked by an interviewer, “Have you made any mistakes?” His answer, “I could fill a room with them all! I didn’t make the right deal. I waited too long to move on something. I even blew up a factory early in my career. But I always went to bat. I didn’t wait in the dugout.” Life rewards those who are persistent; those who don’t quit, give up, readily accept defeat.

Humour

No matter how difficult and complex your circumstances may become, work to retain a sense of humour. The ability to identify reasons for smiling and laughing can lighten life’s loads. A deputy sheriff assigned to courthouse security has, as part of his job, explaining the court process to visitors. One day he was giving a group of ninth graders a tour. The court was in recess, and present in the courtroom were only two people: the court clerk and a young man in custody wearing handcuffs. “This is where the judge sits,” the deputy began, pointing to the bench. Next he pointed out where the lawyers, court clerk and court recorder all sit. He also pointed out the witness stand and the jury seating area. “As you can see,” he concluded, “there are a lot of people involved in making this system work.” At that point the prisoner raised his cuffed hands and said, “Yeah, but I’m the one who makes it all happen.”

One

Whenever you’re feeling pessimistic or hopeless, remember the number one. Tackle events one step at a time. Author Brian Tracy tells of being 21 when he and a companion decided to go off and see the world. While most of their friends were hitchhiking through Europe, Tracy and his friend decided they wanted a different experience so they chose to cross Africa. Their choice meant crossing the enormous Sahara desert. They set off from London, riding bicycles across France and Spain. In Gibraltar they sold their bikes and invested their meagre funds in an old Land Rover using it to cross from Gibraltar to Tangier into Algeria. Between them and their destination was the mighty expanse of the Sahara Desert.

They had no idea how difficult and dangerous that journey could be. “As we moved south across the desert, we encountered endless problems, any one of which could have ended our trip and, probably our lives,” Tracy recalls. Yet, it was during that desert crossing that he learned a vital life lesson. The French, who had governed Algeria for many years, had marked a path across the desert with black 55 gallon oil drums. The drums were spaced exactly five kilometres apart. As they drove and came to an oil drum, the next drum, which was five kilometres ahead, would pop up on the horizon, and the last oil drum, which was five kilometres behind, would fall off the horizon. No matter where they were in the desert, they could always see two oil drums at a time: the one left behind and the one they were headed toward.

Here was the invaluable lesson Tracy learned: “To cross one of the greatest deserts in the world, all we had to do was take it one barrel at a time. We did not have to cross the entire desert at once.” That insight is a metaphor for life, especially those who find hope is evaporating. Today, all you have to do is take one step, one oil barrel, at a time.