Creating Christmas Memories

Christmas has a way of making us remember. Some of our strongest recollections are associated with the holiday season. Most of the time they are happy memories, like when we were together with all our loved ones, or the year we got our first bicycle, or being the best dressed shepherd in the Christmas pageant at church. Other memories may be sad, such as the first Christmas after a grandpa died, or the year there was not enough money for the kids to get the gifts they really wanted. Whatever comes to mind when we begin to succumb to the holiday spirit, our remembrances carry with them a certain power. And the significance of this power should be revered and made available for our children.

The magic in memories

In 1956 the famous author Truman Capote published his short story ‘A Christmas Memory’. In this recount of his childhood experience with Christmas, Capote paints a picture of happiness, wonder, and love, within the surroundings of an unpleasant home, and little money. He, a seven year old, and his best friend, a cousin in her sixties, made fruitcakes to give as gifts. Their activity was simple. Their thoughts were simple. Even the climax of the story is really no climax at all. But the overall message he is conveying is that Christmas usually conjures up the greatest significance in the small, seemingly unimportant activities. This makes perfect sense when considering how unassuming Christ’s entrance was into the world. Capote found magic in memories of the smallest activities and events.

When I look back on what Christmas was like in my childhood, I recall being overcome with a sense of wonder and excitement. Everything associated with the holiday, from going to pick out our Christmas tree, to noting how long it took for all four candles on the Advent wreath to finally be lit, played momentous roles in what Christmas was for me. All of us would probably have some sort of childhood Christmas memory on our lists of most significant events in our lives. The power this holiday has over children is unmistakably large.

A demonstration of this power of Christmas is in how it has carried into my adulthood. I still do some of the things I did when I was a child.

Another powerful memory for me involves the quiet restfulness of a room, lit only by the soft lights of the tree, which glowed over one of the best gifts I have ever received. I walked out into the living room very early one Christmas morning, turned on only the tree lights, and checked to see what Santa Claus had brought just a few hours earlier. I do not recall if I still believed in Santa at that time, but his gift that Christmas is the one I remember above all others. Without having to shake or even peek into the wrapped package, I knew I had received my Marie Osmond record album. I loved her. I watched her television show every week without fail, I called radio stations to request her songs, I wrote her love letters. And then I finally got her record.

I knew the rule of waiting until everyone was awake before opening a single present, but excitement clouded my judgment. I ran quietly through the dark hallway to my room, dug through the closet for my little orange record player, and tiptoed back to the pile of presents. Without hesitation I - as quietly as possible - unwrapped the album and stared at the picture of the woman I knew I’d marry in fifteen years. I opened the plastic wrap and let the album roll out of its cover. My first real record. After setting it up on the player, and with the volume as low as audibly possible, I leaned over the speaker and whispered along with my sweetheart, hoping it would be hours before anyone else got out of bed.

The simple things

I am sure I received much more expensive, difficult to find, and elaborate gifts during my childhood, but I honestly cannot remember which gifts came from which occasions. Only one has its direct association with Christmas, my Marie Osmond album. I am sure the record is nowhere to be found now. It may have been thrown away, lost, or sold at a garage sale.

I do not miss it though, not as long as I have this wonderful memory to give me a genuine attachment to the Christmas of my childhood. I can now see that it is not simply the record album that makes up this memory. What is truly important is what surrounded that gift. I cannot remember the songs, or even her smile on that album cover, but I will never forget the quiet happiness I enjoyed all by myself in the beautiful glow of that Christmas tree.

My daughter, and children to come, should have the same opportunity to create their own beautiful memories of Christmas. As parents, it is our job to simply keep the doors to this opportunity open. We know by our own experiences that the best memories are not created by a pile of expensive presents under the tree. Frosting endless batches of cookies, writing letters to Santa, going to Midnight Mass, driving all day and night to get to grandma’s house, and hanging the lights up outside, these are the activities children remember. The simple things, that we adults may now look at as chores, are what make Christmas truly memorable for our children. Let’s help them create something beautiful to take into this often unpleasant world of adulthood. Let’s help them create their own Christmas memories.